What does it mean to love a butch? To answer that question, you have to figure out what it is you find attractive about butches. Is it because they’re “handsome”? Is it because they’re the closest thing to a boyfriend without having a “boy” friend? Is it the way she kicks ass, works on the car, takes out the garbage, brings you flowers and opens the doors for you? Is it the way she feels on top of you or beneath you as you straddle her body? Is it the excitement of role play?
Phew… enough questions. I started feeling like a worn-out knock-knock joke.
I have to remind all you butch fans, too, that a butch is not a butch is not a butch. You can identify butch qualities that you find attractive, but you must take every butch on her own merits. Don’t try to pigeon hole your intended butch. Get to know her and find out what makes the butch-in-her tick.
Now, the butch-in-me takes a long time to “talk.” I can seduce. I can romance. I can whisper sweet nothings and dirty somethings. I can bullshit. I can sell the Devil a share of hell, but it takes a while for me to open up about certain things – like I don’t just like “to top.” I like the feeling and psychosexual excitement of a woman beneath me, wrapping her legs around me, dirty dancing against my crotch with her ass, etc, etc, etc. I like to pack. I like the thought of packing. I like to close my eyes, lean back and enjoy a mock-blow job. Okay, if my wife didn’t know this already, I might not be writing this…. or I’d have an alter ego in some RP site.
But you can get to know these things if you are a mindful and clever femme. Pay attention to what your butch watches, makes comments on, has for pinups or wallpaper on her comptuer/laptop/phone. Pay attention to where her eyes wander…. not to get into some jealous scene but to learn what gets her attention. Pay attention to how she touches you, seduces you, tries to set you up into certain potential positions or situations.
And if you’ve got an open door, ask. Don’t hound. Don’t pester. Have a good conversation – share what you like. Let your intended butch get to know your femme. Slowly. Seductively. We love to chase. There’s nothing more attractive than a woman who’s available but not desperate. A woman who can play it cool, even if she’s burning inside. Note – cool does not mean frigid. Remember, a first kiss does not have to involve mutual tonsil examinations. And butches have to keep their lust in check, too. The women I’ve dated did not appreciate being treated like the last pork chop on the dinner table. Seduction has a great power and involves finesse and class. It gets the juices flowing and ignites that wonderful feeling of desire.
Allow time to miss each other. Don’t text your butch to death and don’t guilt your butch into texting you. Don’t smother. The worst mistake is smothering. Beyond the just met U-Haul effect…. I mean you already are making wedding plans, designing your house, and saying “the rest of our lives” after less than a month. Or you’re talking about weddings and you don’t even have enough money to put you under one roof. Of course we get excited when we meet someone, and we do have that socialized dream of meeting that “one” who will be love at first site and the end-all to our search, but it takes time to really determine if this is just a short-term blast or something you are willing to invest in and turn into a prosperous partnership.
Lastly, don’t make yourself out to be a “debit” or money-pit-mate. Butches will work their assess off to have what’s important to them and to give their femme the most they can, but if you become a money pit and all your butch is doing is working to spend and have nothing but a few good times, memories, tweets, and some new pics on Facebook, then when the excitement wears off, your butch is going to be pissed, and they’re going to build up resentments. Even great sex loses its appeal if I’ve got to borrow gas money the next morning. If you want more than a good time, be more than a good time. Show your butch you will be an asset and a good helpmate to accumulate wealth. While money doesn’t buy love, it sure can make being in love a lot more enjoyable.
Well, that’s my ramble for the night, and happy butch hunting!
JT